Blarg!

Bill's blog. Writing, guitars, gratuitous Simpsons references, you'll find i​t all here. Almost certainly a waste of time for both you and the author. On the internet, that's actually a plus.

My November Writer Unboxed column is up: How to Abandon your NaNoWriMo Novel without Humiliating Yourself

 Photo by  amanda lohr

Photo by amanda lohr

Let’s celebrate National Novel Writing Month by giving up on your novel! I’ll show you how in my column, How to Abandon your NaNoWriMo Novel without Humiliating Yourself!

Wrap things up early

By which I mean, just stop writing and then lie about it. “Oh, the book? Yeah, I wrapped that up by Thanksgiving.” People don’t have time to read all the books they’ve paid money for; who’s got time to read something you haven’t had time to edit yet? Oh, that’s right–you promised the second coming of To Kill a Mockingbird, and you may have friends who want to see how it turned out (or, more likely given that you’re the sort of person who reads this column, you have a rival who wants to see you crash, burn, and have a cheap funeral). If you absolutely must present your work to someone, stop writing where you are, then have your character say something self-reflective while looking at a lake. When people don’t get the ending, just say, “It’s kind of an experimental novel.” Then, give them the side-eye and say, “Not everybody’s supposed to get it.”

Announce that your book has grown into a trilogy

“Whoa,” you’re saying, “that sounds like a lot more work.” Well, yeah. But all of that work is in the future. Who cares what happens then? If people start asking how your trilogy is coming along, I’m sure you’ll think of something. It’s the classic writer’s trick of raising the stakes, except involving your own time, reputation, and mental health.

Read the whole thing at Writer Unboxed.

How to Abandon your NaNoWriMo Novel without Humiliating Yourself