Hate the cold? Enjoy looking like a berserker? This knit hat/beard may be for you.
Blarg!
Bill's blog. Writing, guitars, gratuitous Simpsons references, you'll find it all here. Almost certainly a waste of time for both you and the author. On the internet, that's actually a plus.
Read my story "Lucky" in issue 2.1 of Stupefying Stories
Stupefying Stories issue 2.1, which includes my short story "Lucky," is available starting today through Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I'm fortunate enough to know a few of the talented scribes published in this issue, including, in no particular order, Samuel M. Johnston, Ada Milenkovic Brown, Courtney Valdes, and Elizabeth Berger. Be sure to check out their work, too.
Here's a quick excerpt of "Lucky":
Dr. Gustaw stopped walking, turning to face Alan. “Here’s the Wikipedia version. Think of luck as a form of magnetism. It pulls you toward a certain outcome based on the positive or negative charge of certain particles.”
“Luck particles? There are luck particles?” Alan said
“Until they’re officially named Gustaw particles, yes. The guy at MIT wants to call them Ludtener particles even though I discovered them first. But that’s neither here nor there. An instance of good luck causes a buildup of positive luck particles. Bad luck, negative charge. With me?”
“I guess.” Alan wondered if he could find his way out of the building from here.
“Unlike magnetism, opposites don’t attract. Good luck attracts more good luck, and vice versa. The bigger the charge you’ve accumulated, the more good or bad luck you get. That’s happenstantial attraction. Ludtener uses a snowball/avalanche analogy, but I think it’s more cyclonic. Tornado.”
“So why am I supposed to lose an eye? Too many black cats crossing my path?”
Dr. Gustaw glared at Alan. “You don’t believe in that hokum, do you? I’m a scientist, sir, not some witch-doctor.”
“No offense.”
“You are what I call a class-four attractor,” Dr. Gustaw said. “If your test results are accurate, your luck center is a hundred times more attractive than class ones—average people.
“How many classes are there?”
“Theoretically infinite, but practically speaking, seven is as high as you could go. If you could attract more good or bad luck than that, you’d either be a god or suddenly burst into flames. I’ve met one class six, and she won two lotteries before dying in a bowling accident."
Where to buy
Back to Work #92: The Florida Episode
I lived in Florida for four years, most of that time in Jacksonville. I genuinely liked it there, but for a native midwesterner, it can throw you for a loop -- the traffic, the daily 3:00 thunderstorms, the fact that no matter what lane you're driving in, it may become a turn late without warning.
In this episode of the Back to Work podcast, Dan Benjamin and Merlin Mann talk about the charming idiosyncrasies that, depending on the person, blur the line between amusing anecdote and soul-crushing adversity. I highly recommend it!
Ikea Butcher Block Guitar
A telecaster-style guitar made out of an Ikea butcher block.
Ikea Butcher Block Guitar by Zachary Guitars. Onion by Piggly Wiggly.
Pro sale! "Athlete's Foot" to appear in Crowded Magazine
I've achieved a writerly milestone: my first pro-level fiction sale! My short story "Athlete's Foot" will appear in the first issue of Crowded Magazine. Crowded is a new speculative fiction publication based in Australia, which means I've now sold my work on three different continents.
My non-writer friends have asked me, "So what's a pro sale? Does this mean you're going to quit your job and wear a beret and move to a fancy chalet in the Alps like some pretentious artistic jerk?" Sadly, no. In writer's parlance, a pro sale is any magazine for which you're paid a minimum of five cents per word. It may not sound like a huge amount compared to one's day job--as Merlin Mann might say, writing to make money is like learning ventriloquism to meet girls--but it's not too bad for something I created out of nothing. I'll still act like a pretentious jerk, mind you, just without the beret (and with the day job, in case my boss is reading this).
I'll post publication dates and other details as they arrive. Crowded seems like a cool magazine, and I hope you'll consider supporting them.
"Lucky" to appear in November's Stupefying Stories
My short story "Lucky" will appear in November's issue of Stupefying Stories. It should come out in the next couple of days. If you can't wait that long, here's a sneak peek at the cover art.
Stupefying Stories is a great little magazine from Bruce Bethke and Rampant Loon Media. November's issue is guest edited by the illustrious M. David Blake, a talented author hailing from Hillsborough, North Carolina. This will be my second story to appear in their magazine, so I obviously think it's a pretty good one. <hardsell>Issues cost only a couple of bucks, so you really have no excuse for not buying one.</hardsell>
Monday Motivator
“At this point in your career, little squirrel, I’d be hoarding my nuts.
WINTER’S COMING.”
-Duke Phillips
Luchadoras 4: Return to Bull City!
If you live in North Carolina, this is what you need to be doing on Saturday, November 10.
"Durham's original masked warriors are taking to the ring again. The luchadoras, an elite group of female lucha libre wrestlers have kicked, punched, and grappled their way into the hearts of the Triangle. This November 10 they're bringing their biggest event yet to the Durham Armory."
The Again magazine to reprint "The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas"
Merry Krampus!
Photo: riptheskull
The Again magazine will reprint my short story, "The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas" in their December issue. It's a snazzy-looking publication, with some delightfully creepy illustrations in every story (I'm really excited to see what they come up with for my story).
The Again is free to read, so you really have no excuse not to check it out. If you'd like to support the publication, you can buy one of their stylish and functional coffee mugs.
In case you missed it, this story was originally published in the December 2011 issue of Stupefying Stories, another fine publication of science fiction and fantasy.
Business Khaki Kilt
I think I should pick one of these up for casual Friday. It'd go great with my collection of polo shirts.