Blarg!

Bill's blog. Writing, guitars, gratuitous Simpsons references, you'll find i​t all here. Almost certainly a waste of time for both you and the author. On the internet, that's actually a plus.

Download a free anthology of writers eligible for the John W. Campbell Award

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Stupefying Stories, a fine publication that has published two of my own works, has released their biggest project to date. The 2013 Campbellian Pre-Reading Anthology features stories from forty-three (!) different authors, all of whom are eligible the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer​. Best of all, it's a free download.

I'm not eligible for the Campbell until next year, but I'm privileged to be friends with two of the talented authors in the anthology, Rich Matrunick and M. David Blake. I also met Rebecca Gomez Farrell at a party once, and she served peaches wrapped in prosciutto and rosemary, which has nothing to do with writing but is absolutely worth mentioning. I would not try to sway your vote one way or another, but I can personally attest that their fictions are quite good.

To sum up: Whether you can nominate writers for the Campbell, or you just want to read a lot of good stories for free, it would behoove you to download this anthology.

2013 Campbellian Pre-Reading Anthology

I'm a columnist, apparently

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Starting March 16, I'm the new monthly humor columnist at Writer Unboxed. WU is a site loaded with advice for scribes of all levels, plus interviews, general thoughts on the writing life, and now, Bill Ferris. I'll share more details on this as I'm able. I'm excited to get started, though, and I think you'll like the column.

Read my story, "The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas" for free in The Again

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I got your Christmas story right here, pal: A reprint of "The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas" is now available for free in The Again, an online magazine of odd fiction from the U.K. If "odd fiction" is too nebulous a term for you, here's a handy chart depicting the kind of things they like to publish. Their fiction is free, but you can show them some support by purchasing one of their stylish and functional coffee mugs.

TCBoTBS was originally published last December in Stupefying Stories, so if you've read it before, you'll have to pretend to be surprised. Visually, though, it's much different--this version has several brand-new illustrations from artist Jennifer Hung. My favorite is this image (see below) of the beloved Germanic Christmas character Krampus tearing open a package of ground beef. I'm confident we'll be seeing this soon-to-be classic holiday tableau next to the Nativity scene for generations to come.

Aw, I was saving that beef for taco night!

Aw, I was saving that beef for taco night!

I hope you enjoy the story. Merry Christmas!

The Again No. 6: Dec. 2012

Simply having a complainy Christmastime

Yeah, I know, I don't like Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" either. Whatever. That guy has done more for music than most of us will accomplish in our combined lifetimes, so I don't want to hear all the snark about it.

Merry Christmas, and may people celebrate your public failures for the next thirty years.

Homemade PVC bike rack

My two boys and I built a bike rack out of PVC pipe. We used a design I found online, got some supplies at Home Depot, and got to work.

It cost about $45 in parts, some of which I can get back because I didn't end up using the PVC cement. It was a fun project and really uncluttered our porch.

The hardest part: cutting all the pieces of pipe to the correct size. It's not especially difficult, just time consuming. Also, the PVC shavings that my saw made left a snowstorm on my porch. I tried to convince my wife it made the place look like a winter wonderland.