Blarg!

Bill's blog. Writing, guitars, gratuitous Simpsons references, you'll find i​t all here. Almost certainly a waste of time for both you and the author. On the internet, that's actually a plus.

I'll be paneling at Illogicon January 10-12

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I'll be at Illogicon this weekend in Durham, NC. Come on down to the Embassy Suites Raleigh-Durham and hear me say something dumb. I'll be in some pretty interesting sessions with a bunch of smart people:

Friday, January 10

  • 4 pm: The Fortunes of Small Press
  • 9 pm: Lies with Words

Saturday, January 11

  • 12 pm: Social Scientists' Science Fiction

Sunday, January 12

  • 10 am: Advice for Fiction Writers
  • 12 pm: Reading
  • 1 pm: Fuck the Universal Translator!
  • 4 pm: The Superhero Next Door
  • 5 pm: New Trends in Speculative Fiction

Illogicon 

New column: The Definitive List of Christmas Gifts for Writers

Photo credit: LMU Library

Photo credit: LMU Library

My new column is up at Writer Unboxed: "The Definitive List of Christmas Gifts for Writers." Head on over and take a look!

For Your Friend Who Writes Poetry: Inspiration

You know that friend of yours who doesn’t listen when you say that poetry is a dead art form? And who’d be a dynamite mystery novelist if she quit mucking around with unrhymed nonsense? Inspire her with some classic Agatha Christie. Inscribe it with encouraging words like, “Her work reminds me of yours,” or, “Don’t you just love complete sentences?” Don’t worry whether she likes it or not. You’re doing this out of love; it’s no coincidence that passive-aggression rhymes with massive affection.

The Definitive List of Christmas Gifts for Writers via Writer Unboxed

My new column at Writer Unboxed: "The Mostly Complete Guide to Getting Your NaNoWriMo Novel Published"

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You’re halfway through National Novel Writing Month, which means you’re 35 percent finished with your novel. What better time than now to start thinking about getting it published? I’ve got all the tips you need right here in my new Hacks for Hacks column at Writer Unboxed.

You may have heard a few editors and literary agents complain about the volume of NaNoWriMo submissions–they’d like you to think they dread December the way peasants living in the shadow of Dracula’s castle fear sunset. These agents aren’t talking to YOU, my special little snowflake. Those OTHER manuscripts have two things in common: They’re junk, and they’re not YOUR manuscript. Like the dairy-fresh chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream hiding behind the fourteen tubs of freezer-burned vanilla in my icebox, your brilliance will never stand out more than when it’s submitted next to these wannabes. 

The Mostly Complete Guide to Getting Your NaNoWriMo Novel Published via Writer Unboxed

 

"Start Your Author Blog in Five Easy Steps," my new column at Writer Unboxed

Photo credit: Beth77 on Flickr. 

Photo credit: Beth77 on Flickr.

 

You'll sell millions of books if you read Start Your Author Blog in Five Easy Steps, my newest Hacks for Hacks column at Writer Unboxed. Since I know all there is to know about blogging, you'll get great advice like this:

Once you’ve written a few starter posts, it’s time to go out and meet your fellow bloggers. Blogging is like a never-ending online writing conference that focuses on the panel discussions and business cards, without all the pesky bar crawls, romantic entanglements, and face-to-face meetings with your literary idols that get in the way. Start your online networking session like this:

  1. Simply find an interesting blog article about a book that you loved.

  2. Carefully read the article to pick up as much wisdom as you can.

  3. Go to the comments section and write, “THRILLING ADVENTURE, MY NOVEL “CHUPACABRA-CADABRA” FREE ON AMAZON! 14 FIVE-STAR REVIEWS!!!”

  4. Go to Amazon and watch your sales rank skyrocket.

And that’s pretty much how networking works.

Start Your Author Blog in Five Easy Steps via Writer Unboxed